I Won't Say I'm Afraid (A Walking Dead Fanfic)
by BrandNewWings
Summary: Carl always has to prove that he's fearless and will do whatever it takes to survive, but what happens when Carl is forced to admit that he's scared. After an argument with Rick, Carl falls asleep with a horrifying nightmare just around the corner! (Hurt!Scared!Carl. Protective!Dad!Rick.)
1. Chapter 1

Hey! I hope you enjoy this family bonding experience of Carl and Rick Grimes!

I would love responses from you all since this is my first The Walking Dead fanfic!

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Song of the chapter is...

Goner by Twenty One Pilots

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Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of it's characters. (...I want a Carl...)

Without anymore delay!

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TWD

I Won't Say I'm Afraid - Part I

TWD

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"When I said hide if you meet any trouble, I didn't mean to climb a tree. If anything, that just wastes the time you have to escape." Rick scolded Carl as he helped Carl back to the camp. Carl's arm was slung around Rick's neck so Carl wouldn't put pressure on his possibly sprained ankle.

"Well I got away didn't I? And it's not my fault I couldn't fight off the walkers. I didn't have my gun on me." Carl said struggling to keep up with Rick's irritated pace.

"Not my fault you left it behind. You know better than to check the snares without proper protection. Surely you could've used something lying around to take down the walkers." Rick said.

"It's no big deal, dad. The walkers are dead or undead or whatever they are now-I don't really care." Carl said wincing when his dad's grip around him got tighter.

"It is a big deal, Carl. When you didn't come back after an hour passed, I went to look for you. When you saw me, you immediately shouted for me to help. Not only did you tell me where you were, but also every other walker nearby." Rick muttered. It was as if he realized how loud he was being himself. "Thanks to you, we have to find a new place to camp for the night. The sun's already setting too."

"I'm sorry." Carl apologized.

"I know you are." Rick accepted the apology. "I may seem fearless too you but when I heard your screams my heart dropped and I thought I might've lost you."

"Well you showed the walkers what for." Carl beamed proudly.

"That's because nobody messes with your-" Rick began.

"Stop." Carl interrupted his dad.

"What?" Rick asked innocently.

"We are not ruining the moment by acting out a scene from the 'Lion King'." Carl rolled his eyes.

"Well, Simba, next time you decide to hide in trees just make sure to have a back-up plan to get down. We don't have enough man power to take care of your injuries from falling out of trees." Rick smirked messing up Carl's hair.

"Shut up." Carl rolled his eyes.

"Why? You scared to admit your old man saved your ass?" Rick teased Carl.

"Whatever. I'm not scared of anything!" Carl said.

"Carl, I'm your dad. I've seen you scared. You were almost crying when I found you." Rick pointed out.

"Dad, those were tears of joy. I was getting tired of waiting." Carl said again. Clearly his pride is rising up again. "I'm brave. I'm fearless. I'll do whatever it takes to survive."

"You don't have to be fearless to be brave. You can be fearless and reckless, or you can be cautious and brave. There's a difference." Rick was getting tired of the debates with Carl everyday.

"I can take care of myself!" Carl shoved himself away from Rick. He limped a few feet ahead of his dad.

"You may have a sprained ankle, Carl. Last time I checked, that's not taking care of yourself. At all." Rick said speeding up his pace in case Carl topples over.

"We'll it could've been much worse." Grunted Carl. He didn't acknowledge his dad's presence next to him.

"Oh yeah? You'll be sore for the next several weeks and I'll be stuck watching both of our backs even more because you didn't think. You always get into trouble in the worst ways!" Rick flinched. That came out harsher than he meant it too, but Rick was sick of the attitude.

Rick and Carl made it to the camp. Daryl and Michonne looked up with relieved eyes but both of them studied the small family's auras. They stayed clear of the argument.

"Well think of it like this; it does hurt and it will for weeks, but I'm not dead. I'll still have a fighting chance to stay alive while I heal. So if it means anything to you, I'd rather face the painful recovery than be buried six feet under." Carl said coldly. "And if it causes you so much trouble than don't watch my back. Like I said before, I can take care of myself." With that, Carl limped away to be alone on the other side of the camp.

Rick sighed and sat down next to Michonne. He stared at the fire and rubbed his hand over his face.

"When did Carl become so rebellious?" Rick muttered too himself.

"It's just what teens go through." Michonne said not looking at Rick.

"Yeah, he'll grow out of it. He's got to establish his role and place as a man. I guess you could say that him being territorial and needing to show his dominance is a good thing." Daryl said with a smile.

"How?" Rick asked."Carl doing this is the last thing we need. It's gonna get him or us killed one of these days."

Carl wasn't sitting too far away and could undoubtedly hear them. He flinched at his dad's words.

"Well maybe it's not the same for you but I enjoy seeing him grow up. I used to hate dealing with snot nosed punks that got smart with everything that blinked, but now it's the only normalcy we have left." Daryl explained. "He's maturing and he's getting stronger. Rick, you're boy is just growing up." Daryl finished patting Rick on the shoulder.

"I'm just worried about him." Rick sighed and saw Carl field stripping his gun. "He's growing up too fast."

"Don't be one of those parents." Daryl teased.

"I think it's time we settled for the night." Michonne said standing up. Carl looked up and nodded. "Rick and I will keep watch first."

"Sounds about right." Daryl agreed.

Rick flashed his eyes to Carl. He seemed to have found a comfy spot to rest. Carl leaned back against an abandoned car and shut his eyes.

TWD

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Rick gravitated near Carl as he kept watch. He wasn't extremely near him but close enough to see his chest rising and falling. If Rick had a choice, he'd let Carl sleep for a week because his appearance just screamed exhaustion. It's a wonder how he hasn't gotten sick yet or collapsed from fatigue.

Rick's thoughts wandered off to the darkest areas of his mind. What is it exactly that he's looking for. Sure he wants safety but after he has a secure place that is absolute, what is his next goal? Finding a cure? Wiping out the walkers? Play the waiting game? Why are they even running? Slowly Rick was losing hope. Lori's dead. Judith is MIA. Carl gives off the impression that he doesn't need Rick anymore. He's just waiting for the last of his sanity to go.

A hand grabbed Rick's shoulder from behind. Rick jumped, pulled out his gun, and aimed at the intruder. It was Michonne.

"Hey." She said sitting down next to him. Rick sighed and put away the gun.

"We have signals for a reason." Rick muttered.

"Sue me." She said with a small grin.

"Did you see something?" Rick asked looking around.

"If I did, you would've known by now. I just want to talk." Michonne whispered.

"About what?" Rick questioned.

"About Carl." Michonne answered."I've seen the way you've been watching him tonight. You're eyes are expressing many things right now."

Rick just gave her a look that was somewhat worried.

"I'm good at reading people. Don't worry, Carl probably doesn't even know." Michonne reassured Rick.

"Carl could've been killed today. I can't afford to lose him." Rick admitted. Michonne nodded.

"I know and Carl underUstands that too, but don't you think he feels the same way?" Michonne said.

"Well yeah-" Rick was cut off.

"Then if Carl feels that way, isn't it only natural that he tries to be more reliable so he can protect you?" Michonne continued. The two watched Carl stir in his sleep. His hair covered half of his face. Rick couldn't help but softly chuckle. "There's a boy still in there, Rick. A frightened boy who only looks to his father on what to do but never asks out loud."

"Why does he fight me? Why the constant attitude?" Rick asks.

"I don't think it's you he's mad at. It's more like he's struggling with himself. He's irritated when he drags you into saving him or if he loses somebody. He's mad that he can't be more like you." Michonne whispers.

Rick stares at his son. Carl was shivering from the night's crisp air.

Rick reaches into his backpack and takes out a few blankets. Rick silently walks towards his only son. Carl looked so small and helpless. Rick crouched down on the balls of his feet in front of Carl.

Rick folded one of the blankets into a thick square and placed it under Carl's wounded ankle. The other blanket was placed around Carl. Rick rustled up Carl's hair before heading back to Michonne.

"...anks...ad.." Carl's voice was drowsy, but Rick understood what his child said.

Rick turned around to find his son asleep again.

"Don't sweat it, kiddo." Rick missed things as simple as protecting his boy from the chilly nights and the spider in his room. Rick once again went back to sit with Michonne.

"I wonder if it'll ever stop." Rick pondered.

"What?" Michonne asked. She was watching a firefly drift up to the sky.

"The disease that creates the walkers. I wonder if there will be a day where it just vanishes or where we will be immune to the virus even after we die. When will we be able to call this world 'home' again? Will we even be alive when that day comes?" Rick just kept going on and on. His thoughts were getting deeper by the second.

"I guess time will tell. We will just have to wait and see." Michonne says laying back on her elbows.

The two grew quiet and just listened to the wildlife. Everything is calm. The sky is crystal clear. Rick could see the stars and the moon was full.

"I wonder what happened to the astronauts when the epidemic broke out. I wonder if they're still up there now." Rick said.

"I wonder if you need sleep." Michonne joked.

"Haha, perhaps you're right. How long have we-" Rick was interrupted by an earsplitting scream of pain and misery coming from his only son. Carl.

Rick's head whipped towards Carl. Rick's face became pale. Carl wasn't in danger of walkers but the sight of Carl's body thrashing around made Rick bolt towards his boy.

TWD

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I'm so obsessed with this show now thanks to my brother! I haven't watched season 5 yet but I just finished season 4 on Netflix.

I can't find many walking dead fanfics about Carl and his dad. I like the family bonding and rescuing kind of stories I guess? I don't know. But yeah.

This is my first TWD fanfic so please tell me your thoughts and tips. I'm willing to take story prompts and requests!

I will hopefully have the second part of this story up soon!

Carl Poppa!


	2. Maybe I Am Scared of One Thing

Here's the second half to the story! Prepare for the fluff.

P.S. I wrote this on my phone, sorry for not being able to use italics and other such fancy stuff.

Again, this is not a slash. :D

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Song of the chapter...

Civilian by Wye Oak.

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Enjoy!

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Carl was thrashing about wildly. His eyes were wide open and he was screaming and shouting things that didn't make sense. Rick was frozen in shock. Daryl was on his feet in high alert. Michonne was the first one to take action. She dashed to the boy and tried to quiet him down. Carl's screaming put everyone in danger. Michonne attempted to hold Carl still, but that only made things worse. Carl fought back profusely.

"Rick!" Michonne shouted still struggling with Carl. Rick snapped out of his dazed and bolted to his son's side.

"I don't want to be alone! Don't leave me alone!" Carl's voice broke even Daryl's heart. It sounded so broken and damaged.

"Shh. Shh. Shh. It's okay Carl. I'm here." Rick murmured to Carl. Sadly, Rick's words didn't reach Carl. Carl was screaming for help and his tears streamed with no end in sight. Rick stared at Carl with helpless eyes as Carl's eyes glowed in the moon light.

"No! Stop! Dad, please!" Carl begged.

"What's wrong with my boy?" Rick asked anyone who was listening. At this point Rick had Carl in a tight embrace so he'd stop squirming around.

"It's probably a night terror." Daryl said crouching down in front of them.

"A night terror?" Rick echoed. Carl became even more frantic.

"Dad!" Carl shrieked.

"I'm here, Carl. I haven't gone anywhere." Rick tried to stay calm, but his grip of a clear head was slipping after every heart breaking wail coming out of Carl's mouth.

"He used to have them back at the camp near Atlanta. Lori would always hold Carl and stay with him throughout the night. It doesn't take a genius to know what they were probably about." Daryl said standing up. "I'll make sure we haven't been detected yet." Michonne was already keeping watch for any walkers but didn't leave Rick's side.

Carl's ankle was swollen. Rick's assumption of a sprained ankle was correct. If Carl kept moving around then he's going to damage it even more.

"Sing to him, talk to him, don't just hold him. Whatever is running through his head is causing him to panic. From what he's been screaming out, it seems to be about you. He needs to hear you." Michonne whispered. Her hand was grabbing the katana just in case a walker appears.

"Carl." Rick whispered. Carl was looking around but seeing nothing but his nightmare. "Carl, please. I'm right here. Don't worry, I'm here with you."

Rick was swaying to comfort Carl. Rick buried his face in Carl's hair and took in a deep breath. Carl's movements did ease up slightly. This was a good sign for Rick. Maybe he's getting through to his boy!

"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you." Michonne started to sing. Rick kept shushing Carl and murmur comforting things. Carl was waking up. He blinked his eyes a few times and took in what was happening. "It won't be a-dammit!"

Rick looked up at Michonne. Daryl was already at their sides with his crossbow out. A herd of walkers were in the distance. They needed to hide and fast!

"D-Dad? What?" Carl stuttered.

"Shhh." Rick gave Carl the look that they were in danger. Michonne ran towards one of the abandoned cars to hide under. Daryl followed suit. Rick grabbed Carl around the waist and carried him to a truck. He pushed Carl on the truck bed and crawled in afterwards. Rick pulled the tailgate closed and held Carl close to him. Luckily, the truck had a cover over the truck's bed, so walkers won't be able to see them.

"Dad-" Carl began again.

"Carl, don't talk right now." Rick warned his son. He could still feel Carl's heart beating rapidly. Rick ran his fingers through Carl's hair. It was more of a comfort to him than to Carl.

"But you're-" Carl wouldn't listen.

"Carl. Later." Rick hissed. He could hear the distance sounds of moaning and sloppy footsteps from the walkers.

"You're alive!" Carl's voice was muffled by Rick's chest.

"Carl, you listen to me, and you listen to me good." Rick stared into Carl's eyes with seriousness. Rick doubted Carl could even see him. It's dark in the truck bed. Carl nodded. "There is a herd of walkers coming. I need you to stay silent. Can you do that for me?" Again, Carl nodded. "Good."

Rick let out a deep breath that he'd been holding in. Carl pulled away from Rick's hold. Rick felt slightly sad and could feel the small bundle of heat leave his body. Carl grabbed Rick's hand and began tracing symbols into Rick's palm. Rick quickly realized that those symbols were letters. Carl was trying to talk to Rick.

'I'm sorry. I probably caused this.' Carl didn't look Rick in the eyes. Carl felt guilt and shame. Rick quickly grabbed Carl's hand and wrote back.

'It wasn't your fault, but I want to know what spooked you so much?' Rick wrote.

Carl didn't moved for what seemed like hours. Whatever Carl was dreaming about earlier is still freaking him out. Slowly Carl took Rick's hand again.

'You died-turned into one of them. I couldn't do it, dad. I couldn't kill you. I just couldn't. I can't survive on my own.' Carl was trembling as his wrote in the palm of Rick's hand. Carl's writing hand left but Carl was still holding Rick's hand. When Carl's finger came back to Rick's Palm, it was wet from tears. 'I couldn't do it. I'm sorry.' There was a sniffle in the dark.

Rick yanked his hand out of Carl's. Carl mistook that as his father being ashamed of him, but Carl was grabbed and dragged into his father's strong chest. Rick wrapped Carl securely with his arms and nobody would be able to separate them.

Rick rolled over on his back with Carl lying on top of him. One arm was draped around Carl's waist and the other was carding Carl's hair. Carl's tears fell on Rick's collar bone and sometimes his neck. The feeling made Rock tighten his grip on Carl, if possible. Rick kissed the side of Carl's head and rested his cheek on the same spot.

The two lied there quietly listening to the walkers pass by. They could only hope that Michonne and Daryl are staying safe and alive.

Rick knows that he couldn't leave Carl in agony over his nightmare. The arm that was around Carl's waist slid up and traced words on Carl's back.

'It's okay. Don't ever be sorry about not being able to take something's life. If circumstances were reversed, I probably wouldn't be able to bring myself to kill you either.' Carl was about to say something but Rick quickly covered Carl's mouth. 'Just let me talk. Let me be a father.' Rick could feel Carl's tears on his skin again. Rick kissed the top of Carl's head again.

'Carl, it was just a nightmare though. I'm still very much alive. I'm still here with you, Carl. I don't plan on leaving you any time soon.' Rick kept writing reassurance into Carl's back. The touches also soothed Carl as if Rick was rubbing Carl's back.

'I'm right here, Carl. Nothing is going to get me or you. I'd never let that happen!' Rick emphasized the exclamation point by drawing it harsher.

A walker ran into the side of the truck. Carl jumped in panic. Rick pulled Carl's head down and tucked it under his chin.

'It's okay. I'm here. Daddy's here.' Carl was relaxing finally. Carl grabbed Rick's hand again and wrote.

'Maybe there is one thing I'm scared of. I'm scared of losing you.' Carl wrote the one sentence that made Rick almost even more protective of Carl. 'You're all I have left.'

Rick hugged Carl and felt Carl go limp in his arms. His son's breathing was steady as was his heartbeat. Rick continued to rock Carl and rubbed circles in his back. The sound of walkers were loud and eerie for a while but slowly died down. After a few minutes of deadly silence. A loud bang on the truck's tailgate made Rock jump.

When the tailgate opened, Michonne was standing there with a small smile on her face. Daryl wasn't too far behind.

"It's safe now." She said and moved away from the entrance.

Rick struggled to get out while still holding Carl, but Rick eventually made it out. There were a few walkers on the ground. They were probably the stragglers near the back of the herd. Rick sat Carl on the truck and lift him up piggyback style. Rick hitched Carl up to get a better hold of him. Carl mumbled but didn't wake up. Rick smiled at his boy.

"Is he okay?" Michonne whispered eyeing Carl worriedly. Rick nodded.

"Yeah, he's fine now" Rick answered back. Carl's chin was resting on Rick's shoulder. Rick could feel Carl's breath brush against his neck. "Daryl, would you mind?" Rick was directing Daryl to his pack. Rick couldn't carry his backpack while carrying his son. Daryl nodded.

"No problem, man." Daryl slung the bag over his shoulder. "Where to now? Or are we staying here?"

"No point in going to sleep now. Let's just continue the trek to somewhere safe." Michonne said.

They all agreed.

Once they all gathered up their stuff, the group set out for a lost sanctuary.

The end.

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Thank you so much for reading!

I will probably do more TWD fanfics. If you have any suggestions, I'll gladly do them!

Does anyone else love how "Carl" turns into "Coral"?

Love you! Much much love always!

Fight the dead. Fear the living.


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